Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize