ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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