Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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