No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
