Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
