some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize