Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Semen is not good for contacts.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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