The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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