I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
