no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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