Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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