He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
