we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
