I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
