Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He kissed a someone with a penis
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
