So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
