Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
no, he came in my armpit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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