how can u be prego again
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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