So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
In America we eat man semen.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
