That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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