Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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