i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
