apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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