You work out of a Hotel?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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