How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
