A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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