my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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