The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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