brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
