We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
