He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.