My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
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Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.