If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.