Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?