We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
