i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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