I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
