I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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