Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can I color on your dick again?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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