I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
