Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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