I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize