I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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