Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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