If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize