I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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