I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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