Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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