Cold hands, warm shart.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
