So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
