I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
