It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
