She announced her abortion via fbk
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
