arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
