Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize