I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize