Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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