just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
